The consequences of hatred for Parents

And parents of children existed from eternity, it is described in classical literature, expressed in art, music, cinema, it shows a lot of historical sources. Research in this field focuses on the mass of research, trying to understand the causes of enmity between the two generations, the study of this problem spent an enormous amount of money. But just in the last few decades our country embraced epidemic hatred of parents, which is gaining momentum and growing threats like cancer.
Causes of such a fierce, all-consuming hatred in the offspring of those who brought them into the world, different and need to be discussed in a separate article. Effect and a sharp decline in the spiritual and moral health of the citizens, the destruction of the ideals of marriage and family, low income levels among the general population and other factors. Deserve special discussion are immoral principles that promoted the modern media and have a devastating effect on the human psyche, especially a small child.
Today we talk about the disastrous effects of hatred for the closest people, which affects many spheres of life. Debate on this topic has been going on for a long time, but not all of the findings are true and true and can be useful. On the contrary, they can lead you to such a jungle, out of which it will be very difficult, if not under force.
For example, a common misconception that if the parents did not do anything good for the baby, they're more than that respect. First, it is necessary to understand what the criteria are proponents of this erroneous view and appreciate the importance of "goodness" of certain actions of their parents. Someone is experiencing strong resentment and anger, someone is angry at his parents, because they do not have the castle in France and do not carry their holiday in the Alps. Someone hardened to them at the time of refusal to purchase a private vehicle, in a simple way - the car. There are those offspring who enraged by the fact that parents do not want to buy them a new pair of jeans. It is unlikely that the above criteria deserve at least a bit of attention and sympathy. But there are those people who have been mistreated and suffered beatings, torture and humiliation by their parents, or at all have been thrown on their outrage. There are those who are suffering because of what their parents did not give them enough attention, care and love, in every way to ignore them and preferred career pastime with their children. But, nevertheless, can these children feel hatred towards those who brought them into the world?
Certainly can - no one has the right to forbid a person to experience certain feelings. But will it benefit themselves - a question of degree of importance, and below we will consider it.
Relatives should be respected at least for the fact that we are flowing the blood. In each of us there is something good and something bad. Simply, it often happens that different people prevails either the first or the second. However, you should think about is that if you and I have turned out so good, it could not happen just like that, suddenly, by magic. In this there is a certain merit of our ancestors, through which were born our parents: a genetic factor has not been canceled after all! If parents, for whatever reasons, have not met our expectations, it does not mean that they are automatically bad people. Perhaps, for example, that in their lives, too, something happened that shocked them and had a very strong effect, articulating a share of negative qualities. For this they should only feel sorry and pity them, do not know how we behave, it appear we are in a similar situation. It is possible that their kindness, their sincerity were broken under the weight of crushing circumstances, and they have not found the strength to fight to get out of them. However, our parents gave us those qualities, whether consciously or unconsciously. And they themselves received them from their parents, and their parents - on their own and so on. Therefore, we would not be the way we are now, if we grew up in a different family. So, after all, it makes sense to show respect for those thanks to whom we were born.
If a person renounces his family and friends, he denies himself. Making people do things against their will, of course, very difficult, and forced to feel something - doubly problematic. Saying "no words" do not want "is the word" should "is relevant except for working" obyazalovke. " "We must," for example, go to work, but how many thousands (or millions?) People do it, clenching his teeth and reluctantly? But respect for people, including relatives, is quite a different category. "Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days upon the earth." Many pay attention only to the first part of the command, completely forgetting about the second part - "that thy days upon the earth." God does not say, "Love thy father and thy your mother, "he tells us," Honor. "Let us consider the meaning of the word. According to the dictionary Dahl," read - count, recognize, accept, believe. "key word here is the word" recognize "and" take. "That is - admit their parents, and take them for what they are, that [b] you [/ b] on the ground was good. You parents will not change, but his bad attitude to them thyself can greatly harm. If you go hate them perfect hatred, angry at them, offended, etc., to whom you will do worse? Did they? Not at all - they are from your fantasies and emotions neither hot nor cold. unpleasant, of course, that the mother has for a child These are unpleasant feelings, but they can help with this, especially since many parents do not accept any guilt, consider themselves absolutely right everywhere and in everything, and write off all the flaws in the bad character of his child: "Yes it is you yourself all my fault, I gave birth to you, fed, watered, and you ungrateful bastard! ".
Scientifically proven relationship between aggression, anger and hatred. Negative feelings can "settle" within us that will lead to different physical problems: headaches, stomach and cardiovascular disease (more on this can be found in studies of American psychologists and K.Izarda R.Holta, for example). Currently, many physicians approach the treatment of disease, based on the direction of psychosomatic medicine: a conceptual approach to health and disease, considering these conditions the interaction of psychological, social and biological factors. Very interesting writes about American scientist Franz Alexander in his book "Psychosomatic Medicine" (despite his psychoanalytic approach). Naturally, the negative feelings and emotions and the subsequent disease does not contribute to the extension of our life on earth, and give rise to a number of other negative phenomena: envy, of various kinds and the nature of dependence, depression, loneliness, fear, etc.
Therefore, if you look at the feelings experienced by us in relation to parents, with a "mercenary" and a "practical" point of view, it is absolutely "unprofitable" to hate and wish harm to those thanks to whom we were born. Therefore, you should learn to accept their parents for what they are, because we can not make a change in their thinking and behavior. But to us (and only us!) Is subject to change its own "self", his soul, his character, and we can control our behavior and actions, aiming to eradicate a fact that hinders us so much.
This is the key to inner peace. While we do not find a key in a bunch of other keys, we can not open the door, behind which lurk mental harmony and balance.
The second key on the way to peace of mind is the humility of his own pride, which is the source of many of our problems. While pride prevails over us, we are like one fabulous Alice, who wandered in his Wonderland, and, coming up against a small door, could not get into it because it was too large and high. That's our pride is so large and high that it does not allow us to achieve the comfort and tranquility. Subject pride as worthy of discussion in this article.
In order to change their attitude to parents, must sincerely and with all my heart to forgive them. Get rid of the oppressive grievances to eradicate it from his soul. How to learn to forgive, we will discuss in the next article.

Games, promotes relaxation

The next three games are borrowed from the book K.Fopelya "How to teach children to cooperate" (1998). They help to create a group of kindergarten or elementary school friendly atmosphere mutual trust, friendly and open communication between children with each other.

"Waterfall"

Purpose: This game will help the imagination of children to relax. "Sit back and close your eyes. 2-3 times a deep breath and exhale. Imagine that you are standing near the waterfall. But this is no ordinary waterfall. Instead of water, it drops down a soft white light. Now imagine being under that waterfall and feel as this beautiful white light shines on your head .. you feel like relaxing your forehead, then his mouth as the muscles relax neck ... white light flowing through your shoulders, neck and helps them to become soft and relaxed. white light flows with your back, and you notice, as in the back tension disappears, and it becomes too soft and relaxed.

The light flows through your chest, stomach. You feel like you are relaxing and of themselves, without any effort, you can breathe in and out deeply. This allows you to feel very relaxed and enjoyable.

Let the light flows also on your hands, on the palms, the fingers. You notice how arms and hands become softer and relaxed. Light flows and foot, down to your feet. Do you feel that they relax and become soft. This amazing waterfall of white light flows around your body. You feel completely calm and serene, and with each breath deeper you relax and replenish with fresh forces ... (30 seconds).

Now thank this waterfall of light for what it is you are so wonderful to relax ... A little stretch, straighten up and open your eyes. "After the game is to do something quiet.

"Dancing Hands"

Purpose: if children restless or upset, this game will give the children (especially distressed, restless) to clarify their feelings and inner relaxation. "Spread out large sheets of brown paper (or old wallpaper) on the floor. Take each of 2 shallow. Choose for each hand chalk color you like. Now go back on the expansion of the paper to hand, from the wrist to the elbow, were above the paper. ( In other words, so that the kids had a room for painting.) Close your eyes, and when the music starts, you can draw with both hands on the paper. Move your hands to the music. then you can see what happened "(2-3 minutes ). The game is played the music.

"Blind Dance"

Objective: To build trust in each other, the removal of excess muscle tension.

"Divide into pairs. One of you gets blindfolded, they are" blind. "Another will be" seeing "and will be able to drive a" blind. "Now join hands and dance together under the light music (1-2 minutes). Now the tables are turned. helping partners to tie a bandage. "

As a preparatory step you can put children in pairs and ask them to join hands. One who sees, moves his hands to the music, and the child with a blindfold trying to repeat these movements, holding hands, about 1-2 minutes. Then the children switch roles. If the child refuses to close the alarming eyes, calm him and do not insist. Let the dancing with their eyes open.

As a child from getting rid of anxiety can begin to conduct the game is not sitting, and moving around the room.

Social and domestic orientation of visually impaired children

Social and domestic orientation of children with impaired social and domestic orientation is one of special remedial classes, which are conducted according to the age and the specific features and capabilities of the blind and visually impaired children. This takes into account local conditions and national traditions. Lessons in social and domestic orientation aimed at developing skills and promoting social adaptation of children. First of all, it is the skills that relate to the organization of their behavior, child's communication with others in a variety of social and everyday situations. In the classroom for social and domestic orientation skills are formed, giving children the opportunity to perform a variety of actions as by sight, and without it, children are taught to use rational analyzers have stored in different social and everyday situations. Tiflopedagog forms in children's views of the surrounding objects in the home, their purpose and possibilities of use, children give an idea about the main types of domestic and professional work. The course is taught includes the following topics: "Personal Health", "Clothing and footwear", "food", "Family", "The Culture of conduct", "Housing", "Transport", "trade", "health care". Learn how social and domestic orientation facilitates social and psychological adaptation of the blind and visually impaired children to the life. Classes on "Personal Hygiene" allow children to acquire skills and habits of hygiene, preservation of sight, touch, skin care, maintain and promote their health. Classes on "Power" introduce children to provide basic food, methods of preparation and storage of food, table setting. Expansion of self-help skills, thematic lessons "Clothing and footwear", "Housing". They include daily care of clothing, footwear and housing. Ways and means of establishing personal relationships in the family, group, public places revealed in the themes "Family" and "The Culture of behavior." Children learn how to behave at the table, in the store, transport, etc. Plays an important role in shaping children's formation and skills to use the means of communication, transportation, shopping, medical care. These skills form when those "Transport", "trade", "Communication", "health care". Lessons in social and domestic orientation conducted with younger and middle group 1 day a week, with children older and preparatory group twice a week. Organize these activities so that children have the opportunity to observe the actions of adults and participated in them. Of great importance is the gradual formation of skills, providing first a simple mastery, and then more complex actions. Tiflopedagog method uses phase display and testing of all elements of the action with each child. Also used verbal regulation and correction actions of children. Visual material for lessons on social and domestic orientation selected on the basis of obtaining the maximum comprehensive information about the studied object or phenomenon. Children are familiar with the subject's inner circle, and teach them to perform certain actions in accordance with the purpose. Submissions received extended and secured in specially organized teaching and subject-role-playing games, on hikes and talks. For knowledge and skills for social and domestic orientation are different methodological approaches: explanation, demonstration, plot-role-playing games, excursions. A great place for special remedial classes on social and domestic orientation is given subject-role-playing game. In games, improved subject-action-formed compensatory ways of knowing the world. During the games in an accessible and entertaining way assimilated conventional norms of behavior are formed and interaction skills with peers and adults. Tiflopedagog in the implementation of the program on social and consumer orientation has the following objectives: - To help children adapt to kindergarten. - To help children adapt to the process of rehabilitation. - Teach children to regulate their conduct in basic life situations (in daily life with peers and adults) in accordance with generally accepted standards. - Develop a solid foundation for a successful self-employment of children in school. To achieve the goals outlined the following objectives: 1. The education of children to an adequate representation of the outside world through the use of the broken (the visually impaired children with strabismus and amblyopia) or residual (blind children) of analyzers and intact in children of all categories. 2. The education of children the ability to interpret and reflect the speech is perceived objects, their attributes, properties and quality. 3. Teaching children to understand and correct reflection of the essence of the speech events and phenomena. 4. Development of children visual-spatial adaptation (ie, the required amount of spatial concepts and skills, under which they will be able to navigate freely and independently in space and communicate with their environment). 5. Implementation of the content of the relationship special remedial classes on social and domestic orientation with general education classes and with the work of caregivers with children in everyday life. Thus, in special remedial classes on social and domestic orientation in children the understanding of their sensory capabilities, self-esteem, the ability to orient himself to the simplest of domestic and social situations.