Get joy from the upbringing of children - it's natural

In the courtyard of the children play. From the window of a woman's voice:
- Sergei, once home!
One of the kids raised his head:
- What, Mom, I'm cold?
- No, Sergei, you hungry!

I now have a dog. Very intelligent and educated. He knows "sit," "lie," "me," "voice!". A friend who walks with us in the park, sighs: "Oh, if only because kids listen ..." And we laugh.

Do I want my children to grow obedient? Hmm ... smart, independent, strong - yes. Responsible - definitely. Gay, free, beautiful ... happy. And many, many other things I want. But rose to obey - no. Why do I need them to all my life listening to someone else? First, is not the fact that the other - even if it's his wife - will care only about their welfare. Second - there is what kind of responsibility to take on this other! Why should enclose a pig to man unknown to me? What I would really like - is to teach children how to live your mind.

Children - a holiday that until you. This is a very important stage in their way when they are under the warm wing of the parent prepare themselves for adult life and self. Every day. When they play, dine, walk, when happy or upset. And we are best able to help them do that, if we often ask ourselves: What is my child is in this situation?

Here he comes home, sobbing, wiping dirty hands snot and tears. Drags bike. On the knee - abrasion. Sound familiar? The situation is full of emotion, then, a lesson to remember. What is the lesson? It depends on us, on our response to the problem of how we behave now.

- Well, who gave you permission to go out of the gate? I'm telling you - break it! Woe to you my ... Everything broken bike, consider you have no more than a bicycle, and the money spent, and a lot of! Work for you, you work, no thanks. Wash and march to your room, you're punished!

Learns that the baby? What he has written a lesson for many years? "I'm always all damage", "expensive things more important than my feelings," "I'm bad", "For this I have to be alone." Like it? Let's try again.

- Oh heavens, broke, poor, terror-then what, look-blood flowing! Sit down quickly, no - go to bed, no - let me I'll take you. The whole knee torn, iodine course, probably more joints should apply, there's the earth got there - it's a really bad infestation can be, tetanus, have a shot ... Grandma, bring a first aid kit! Father, Start the car - go to the hospital. Or call an ambulance, I do not know what to do, then do not move, will be even worse ...

Imagine like a child who hears it. What are the conclusions? "Riding a bicycle - it's very dangerous," "I am a poor, weak and helpless," and even "When I trauma - the whole world revolves around me."
Again, rewind the tape back.

- Break your knee? Come to me, my good. What happened, tell me! Does it hurt? And sorry, right? You know, when I was a child fell from the bike (of course, fall, many times) - I, too, was hurt and offended. You know how to treat her knees? Remember when you scraped elbow on apple - what did we do? That's right, rinse, spread iodine and bandage. Come along, I'll be smeared, and you - to keep iodine and serve me a bandage. , Now you know how to treat torn knees! Worried about the bike? What do you think, who can help us fix it?

How do you this option? "I am here understand and comfort", "Now I know how to treat knee," "I'll come up with, who will help to repair a bicycle." "I can deal with the problem!"

Situation - one. A lesson - can be quite different. And what they will be - depends on us as parents.

I want my children to be happy. And right now, every day, and then when they grow up and live independently. And I myself want to be happy - every day, now and then. And I know that it needs to do.

The story with the bike - one of the exercises of the course "The Joy of Parenting." I am very glad that in his time the fate brought me to this course. He restored order in my head. This system was simple and clear, met all my wishes, and most importantly - it worked! It inspired me so much that I decided to learn how to share it with other people. I myself am working on this system for 7 years - in the psychological camp dlyadetey and adolescents' Towards a Dream. " A share in the near future will be here, in the course of "The Joy

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