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And
parents of children existed from eternity, it is described in classical
literature, expressed in art, music, cinema, it shows a lot of
historical sources. Research
in this field focuses on the mass of research, trying to understand the
causes of enmity between the two generations, the study of this problem
spent an enormous amount of money. But
just in the last few decades our country embraced epidemic hatred of
parents, which is gaining momentum and growing threats like cancer.
Causes of such a fierce, all-consuming hatred in the offspring of those who brought them into the world, different and need to be discussed in a separate article. Effect and a sharp decline in the spiritual and moral health of the citizens, the destruction of the ideals of marriage and family, low income levels among the general population and other factors. Deserve special discussion are immoral principles that promoted the modern media and have a devastating effect on the human psyche, especially a small child.
Today we talk about the disastrous effects of hatred for the closest people, which affects many spheres of life. Debate on this topic has been going on for a long time, but not all of the findings are true and true and can be useful. On the contrary, they can lead you to such a jungle, out of which it will be very difficult, if not under force.
For example, a common misconception that if the parents did not do anything good for the baby, they're more than that respect. First, it is necessary to understand what the criteria are proponents of this erroneous view and appreciate the importance of "goodness" of certain actions of their parents. Someone is experiencing strong resentment and anger, someone is angry at his parents, because they do not have the castle in France and do not carry their holiday in the Alps. Someone hardened to them at the time of refusal to purchase a private vehicle, in a simple way - the car. There are those offspring who enraged by the fact that parents do not want to buy them a new pair of jeans. It is unlikely that the above criteria deserve at least a bit of attention and sympathy. But there are those people who have been mistreated and suffered beatings, torture and humiliation by their parents, or at all have been thrown on their outrage. There are those who are suffering because of what their parents did not give them enough attention, care and love, in every way to ignore them and preferred career pastime with their children. But, nevertheless, can these children feel hatred towards those who brought them into the world?
Certainly can - no one has the right to forbid a person to experience certain feelings. But will it benefit themselves - a question of degree of importance, and below we will consider it.
Relatives should be respected at least for the fact that we are flowing the blood. In each of us there is something good and something bad. Simply, it often happens that different people prevails either the first or the second. However, you should think about is that if you and I have turned out so good, it could not happen just like that, suddenly, by magic. In this there is a certain merit of our ancestors, through which were born our parents: a genetic factor has not been canceled after all! If parents, for whatever reasons, have not met our expectations, it does not mean that they are automatically bad people. Perhaps, for example, that in their lives, too, something happened that shocked them and had a very strong effect, articulating a share of negative qualities. For this they should only feel sorry and pity them, do not know how we behave, it appear we are in a similar situation. It is possible that their kindness, their sincerity were broken under the weight of crushing circumstances, and they have not found the strength to fight to get out of them. However, our parents gave us those qualities, whether consciously or unconsciously. And they themselves received them from their parents, and their parents - on their own and so on. Therefore, we would not be the way we are now, if we grew up in a different family. So, after all, it makes sense to show respect for those thanks to whom we were born.
If a person renounces his family and friends, he denies himself. Making people do things against their will, of course, very difficult, and forced to feel something - doubly problematic. Saying "no words" do not want "is the word" should "is relevant except for working" obyazalovke. " "We must," for example, go to work, but how many thousands (or millions?) People do it, clenching his teeth and reluctantly? But respect for people, including relatives, is quite a different category. "Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days upon the earth." Many pay attention only to the first part of the command, completely forgetting about the second part - "that thy days upon the earth." God does not say, "Love thy father and thy your mother, "he tells us," Honor. "Let us consider the meaning of the word. According to the dictionary Dahl," read - count, recognize, accept, believe. "key word here is the word" recognize "and" take. "That is - admit their parents, and take them for what they are, that [b] you [/ b] on the ground was good. You parents will not change, but his bad attitude to them thyself can greatly harm. If you go hate them perfect hatred, angry at them, offended, etc., to whom you will do worse? Did they? Not at all - they are from your fantasies and emotions neither hot nor cold. unpleasant, of course, that the mother has for a child These are unpleasant feelings, but they can help with this, especially since many parents do not accept any guilt, consider themselves absolutely right everywhere and in everything, and write off all the flaws in the bad character of his child: "Yes it is you yourself all my fault, I gave birth to you, fed, watered, and you ungrateful bastard! ".
Scientifically proven relationship between aggression, anger and hatred. Negative feelings can "settle" within us that will lead to different physical problems: headaches, stomach and cardiovascular disease (more on this can be found in studies of American psychologists and K.Izarda R.Holta, for example). Currently, many physicians approach the treatment of disease, based on the direction of psychosomatic medicine: a conceptual approach to health and disease, considering these conditions the interaction of psychological, social and biological factors. Very interesting writes about American scientist Franz Alexander in his book "Psychosomatic Medicine" (despite his psychoanalytic approach). Naturally, the negative feelings and emotions and the subsequent disease does not contribute to the extension of our life on earth, and give rise to a number of other negative phenomena: envy, of various kinds and the nature of dependence, depression, loneliness, fear, etc.
Therefore, if you look at the feelings experienced by us in relation to parents, with a "mercenary" and a "practical" point of view, it is absolutely "unprofitable" to hate and wish harm to those thanks to whom we were born. Therefore, you should learn to accept their parents for what they are, because we can not make a change in their thinking and behavior. But to us (and only us!) Is subject to change its own "self", his soul, his character, and we can control our behavior and actions, aiming to eradicate a fact that hinders us so much.
This is the key to inner peace. While we do not find a key in a bunch of other keys, we can not open the door, behind which lurk mental harmony and balance.
The second key on the way to peace of mind is the humility of his own pride, which is the source of many of our problems. While pride prevails over us, we are like one fabulous Alice, who wandered in his Wonderland, and, coming up against a small door, could not get into it because it was too large and high. That's our pride is so large and high that it does not allow us to achieve the comfort and tranquility. Subject pride as worthy of discussion in this article.
In order to change their attitude to parents, must sincerely and with all my heart to forgive them. Get rid of the oppressive grievances to eradicate it from his soul. How to learn to forgive, we will discuss in the next article.
Causes of such a fierce, all-consuming hatred in the offspring of those who brought them into the world, different and need to be discussed in a separate article. Effect and a sharp decline in the spiritual and moral health of the citizens, the destruction of the ideals of marriage and family, low income levels among the general population and other factors. Deserve special discussion are immoral principles that promoted the modern media and have a devastating effect on the human psyche, especially a small child.
Today we talk about the disastrous effects of hatred for the closest people, which affects many spheres of life. Debate on this topic has been going on for a long time, but not all of the findings are true and true and can be useful. On the contrary, they can lead you to such a jungle, out of which it will be very difficult, if not under force.
For example, a common misconception that if the parents did not do anything good for the baby, they're more than that respect. First, it is necessary to understand what the criteria are proponents of this erroneous view and appreciate the importance of "goodness" of certain actions of their parents. Someone is experiencing strong resentment and anger, someone is angry at his parents, because they do not have the castle in France and do not carry their holiday in the Alps. Someone hardened to them at the time of refusal to purchase a private vehicle, in a simple way - the car. There are those offspring who enraged by the fact that parents do not want to buy them a new pair of jeans. It is unlikely that the above criteria deserve at least a bit of attention and sympathy. But there are those people who have been mistreated and suffered beatings, torture and humiliation by their parents, or at all have been thrown on their outrage. There are those who are suffering because of what their parents did not give them enough attention, care and love, in every way to ignore them and preferred career pastime with their children. But, nevertheless, can these children feel hatred towards those who brought them into the world?
Certainly can - no one has the right to forbid a person to experience certain feelings. But will it benefit themselves - a question of degree of importance, and below we will consider it.
Relatives should be respected at least for the fact that we are flowing the blood. In each of us there is something good and something bad. Simply, it often happens that different people prevails either the first or the second. However, you should think about is that if you and I have turned out so good, it could not happen just like that, suddenly, by magic. In this there is a certain merit of our ancestors, through which were born our parents: a genetic factor has not been canceled after all! If parents, for whatever reasons, have not met our expectations, it does not mean that they are automatically bad people. Perhaps, for example, that in their lives, too, something happened that shocked them and had a very strong effect, articulating a share of negative qualities. For this they should only feel sorry and pity them, do not know how we behave, it appear we are in a similar situation. It is possible that their kindness, their sincerity were broken under the weight of crushing circumstances, and they have not found the strength to fight to get out of them. However, our parents gave us those qualities, whether consciously or unconsciously. And they themselves received them from their parents, and their parents - on their own and so on. Therefore, we would not be the way we are now, if we grew up in a different family. So, after all, it makes sense to show respect for those thanks to whom we were born.
If a person renounces his family and friends, he denies himself. Making people do things against their will, of course, very difficult, and forced to feel something - doubly problematic. Saying "no words" do not want "is the word" should "is relevant except for working" obyazalovke. " "We must," for example, go to work, but how many thousands (or millions?) People do it, clenching his teeth and reluctantly? But respect for people, including relatives, is quite a different category. "Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days upon the earth." Many pay attention only to the first part of the command, completely forgetting about the second part - "that thy days upon the earth." God does not say, "Love thy father and thy your mother, "he tells us," Honor. "Let us consider the meaning of the word. According to the dictionary Dahl," read - count, recognize, accept, believe. "key word here is the word" recognize "and" take. "That is - admit their parents, and take them for what they are, that [b] you [/ b] on the ground was good. You parents will not change, but his bad attitude to them thyself can greatly harm. If you go hate them perfect hatred, angry at them, offended, etc., to whom you will do worse? Did they? Not at all - they are from your fantasies and emotions neither hot nor cold. unpleasant, of course, that the mother has for a child These are unpleasant feelings, but they can help with this, especially since many parents do not accept any guilt, consider themselves absolutely right everywhere and in everything, and write off all the flaws in the bad character of his child: "Yes it is you yourself all my fault, I gave birth to you, fed, watered, and you ungrateful bastard! ".
Scientifically proven relationship between aggression, anger and hatred. Negative feelings can "settle" within us that will lead to different physical problems: headaches, stomach and cardiovascular disease (more on this can be found in studies of American psychologists and K.Izarda R.Holta, for example). Currently, many physicians approach the treatment of disease, based on the direction of psychosomatic medicine: a conceptual approach to health and disease, considering these conditions the interaction of psychological, social and biological factors. Very interesting writes about American scientist Franz Alexander in his book "Psychosomatic Medicine" (despite his psychoanalytic approach). Naturally, the negative feelings and emotions and the subsequent disease does not contribute to the extension of our life on earth, and give rise to a number of other negative phenomena: envy, of various kinds and the nature of dependence, depression, loneliness, fear, etc.
Therefore, if you look at the feelings experienced by us in relation to parents, with a "mercenary" and a "practical" point of view, it is absolutely "unprofitable" to hate and wish harm to those thanks to whom we were born. Therefore, you should learn to accept their parents for what they are, because we can not make a change in their thinking and behavior. But to us (and only us!) Is subject to change its own "self", his soul, his character, and we can control our behavior and actions, aiming to eradicate a fact that hinders us so much.
This is the key to inner peace. While we do not find a key in a bunch of other keys, we can not open the door, behind which lurk mental harmony and balance.
The second key on the way to peace of mind is the humility of his own pride, which is the source of many of our problems. While pride prevails over us, we are like one fabulous Alice, who wandered in his Wonderland, and, coming up against a small door, could not get into it because it was too large and high. That's our pride is so large and high that it does not allow us to achieve the comfort and tranquility. Subject pride as worthy of discussion in this article.
In order to change their attitude to parents, must sincerely and with all my heart to forgive them. Get rid of the oppressive grievances to eradicate it from his soul. How to learn to forgive, we will discuss in the next article.
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